The "E" is for endometriosis. The "O" is for ovarian cyst. I have mentioned before that I have endometriosis, and it is fairly common. It is painful and yes, can cause fertility issues. I went to see my OB Friday and had a follow-up ultrasound today (it was scheduled for Monday morning but I totally forgot about it...oops). During my c-section with Lilly Cate, he saw a lot of adhesions that indicate endo. Apparently it looks different during pregnancy, so it is difficult to tell what is endo. and what is from the previous c-section with Caroline. But all indicators point towards endo. and it has gotten worse since Lilly Cate was born. At the ultrasound today they saw another large cyst on my right ovary. I have had this before, so I am not surprised. He just wanted to check for anything "abnormal" or fibroids. Thank goodness nothing like that showed up!!! We have been trying to get pregnant for several months now, and it is frustrating, emotional, and disappointing when it is not happening and you think it might not again. The doctor is hopeful that we can conceive another baby naturally, but also discussed some fertility options that would be next if it doesn't happen in the next 6 months. Now...6 months is a long time. I am staying positive about it. I have to understand that what I want may not be what is right for us right now. And I know that in my head, and I know that when I explain it to myself. But my heart doesn't want to understand it. My heart wants another baby. Everyone asks us if we are done and the only way RJ and I can explain it is that we feel like someone else is missing from our family. I know that God will give us another baby, if that is His plan for our family, and I just need to be patient. Patient.
Trust me, I also recognize how blessed we are. So very blessed. And I feel greedy for even wanting another baby so badly. To have had two healthy pregnancies and two perfectly healthy, loving, sweet and beautiful babies is a miracle. Truly. I do not want to seem ungrateful or unappreciative for these two adorable little girls. Because they are my heart.
Trust me, I also recognize how blessed we are. So very blessed. And I feel greedy for even wanting another baby so badly. To have had two healthy pregnancies and two perfectly healthy, loving, sweet and beautiful babies is a miracle. Truly. I do not want to seem ungrateful or unappreciative for these two adorable little girls. Because they are my heart.
2 comments:
Don't you dare feel bad for wanting another baby, and don't you let anyone tell you that you should! I have a great friend who has suffered with secondary infertilty, and I think its harder to watch her go through that than anything. Becuase you know your body CAN make children, it's just not. I will keep you in my prayers and hope that God will belss you with another child very soon! Love you!
i know you and RJ are going to have another precious baby... this world just NEEDS another beautiful Krier baby!! as always, praying and thinking about you all. :) hugs.
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