This Little Girl...

has changed a lot in the last year.  I still can't believe Caroline is 4.  Four years old.  We just brought her home from the hospital.  I can't imagine what I'll be saying when she's 5 and starting Kindgergarten.  And then going to middle school.  Then 16 and driving.  Then going to college.  I honestly cannot imagine it and just trying to brings tears to my eyes that I won't let fall. 

So much happens between ages 3 and 4.  I think I just wasn't ready for it.  I mean, when you have a baby, she is obviously changing and you see it everyday.  Even going from 1 to 2 is pretty obvious.  She officially enters "toddlerhood."  But 3 to 4?  I just wasn't expecting to see a big change.  Boy, was I wrong.  Physically, she has grown a lot.  She no longer has any resemblance of a baby body.  I know we have long and tall babies, but there is nothing about her that looks like a baby or toddler.  When I stop and really look in her face, cradled in my hands, I see my baby.  It is just the coolest thing ever to see your baby and know that she is growing and becoming her own person.  And then when she is sleeping.  Those round cheeks and full lips, just like my baby.

And then emotionally, verbally, intellectually, she has changed so much.  She is a smart little girl.  She catches on so quickly and remembers everything.  She is asking questions that I am not ready to answer.  Questions that I don't know how to answer.  She is demanding.  Demanding in answers.  Demanding in attention.  She is competitive.  She is stubborn.  She loves music and dance.  And she is very good at dance.  Even at four, I think you can tell what your child has an aptitude for.  I'm afraid it isn't sports and that's ok.  She just isn't that interested.  Her ballet teacher that she had last year (and the owner of the studio) told me at the end of the year that she is keeping an eye on Caroline and her progress.  I know, she's only four.  But she practices all the time at home, pretending that our counter is a bar.  She remembers all of the correct terms and  tells RJ about it when he gets home.  She asks when the next recital is.  Who knows...but I am excited that she loves something this young.

She is getting better at the tantrums and outbursts.  We still have a long way to go, but I think she is learning and I am learning what sets her off and anticipating her meltdowns.  A large part of it is when she is overtired or when she needs some "alone" time, either with me or by herself.  I try to imagine that it must be hard having two little siblings that constantly need attention.  And yes, at four years and two months she still naps, usually two hours a day.  I don't bug her about it and everyday around 2pm, she is ready and willing. 

She is a leader.  She is a perfectionist.  This is something we are working on.  She gets very frustrated when she can't do something right the first time; when she messes up on a letter; when she has something on her clothes; when someone tells her she can't do something, that is fuel for the fire.  She is starting to feel embarrassment, mainly in relation to failing at something.  Folks, it is hard to watch your child feel this emotion.  And I know this is only the start of these things and it is going to get harder for both her and me, but I still don't like it.

She is tender-hearted.  Very tender-hearted.  She is unbelievably loving.  She is protective, especially over Lilly Cate. 

And I just adore her.